Hilbert Capps was a champion hollerer. When he wasn’t hollering, he was talking about hollering. Boy, he sounds fun to be around.
On the day that Hilbert stopped by the Brown Detective Agency to go with Encyclopedia and Sally to Maggie DeLong’s birthday party, he was quiet because his voice was shot.
He explained that he had been walking around the neighborhood a few days earlier when he heard screaming coming out of a window. It sounded like someone was being killed, but it actually turned out to be the number one song for the month. That gave Hilbert an idea. He could make a ruckus and record it. Maybe he could record a hit song.
He went to Maggie’s place, who lent him a tape recorder. With the help of two hound dogs, a washboard, some trash can lids and just lots of screaming, he recorded a song titled I’ve Been Crying Over You Since You Fell Into the Well. He was excited about his creation and Maggie had agreed to play it at her party.
Good, now we’re all caught up. Let’s head to Maggie’s party.
At the party, Maggie announced that she had a surprise and told the story about Hilbert’s foray into the music industry. She went to go get the tape, but returned very upset with a tear running down the outside of her eye. The tape had been stolen.
Ehh let’s cut to the chase. Maggie stole it so that she could try to sell the tape herself. She wanted to make herself look very upset that Hilbert’s tape had been stolen to draw suspicion way from her, so she used an eye-dropper to make it look like she had been crying. Only she put the tear drop on the outside of her eye, and not the inside, where tears normally fall.
Did she not realize that had she sold this stolen tape and made a lot of money off of it, she would have been in even bigger trouble?
This idiot stole her friend’s tape and possibly could have gotten away with it, but she’s apparently so dumb, that she doesn’t know the properties of tear drops? How does she not know what side of the eye tear drops fall from? Has she never cried? What is she, a robot? If she was a robot, wouldn’t she be advanced enough to pass as a human that she would cry out of the correct side of her eyes?
