March 2012
31 posts
3 tags
The Case of the Flower Can
Stella Boswell appeared at the Brown Detective Agency saying that an older boy tried to steal a rusty can filled with flowers that she had been carrying. She didn’t have twenty-five cents, so she paid with the only money she had – a Confederate silver half-dollar from 1861 that she found in the flower can.
This girl has already proven herself to be an idiot. Even if she didn’t understand...
“Stingy is so tight that if he blinks his eyes, his knuckles crack. When he dates...”
– Encyclopedia Brown, on Stingy Stetson How does a 5th grader already have a reputation for being cheap? And how are his dating habits so well-known? I’m not even touching the metaphor about his knuckles, because that makes no sense whatsoever. The Case of the Barefoot Thieves
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The Case of the Model Universe
Hugo Dipman told Encyclopedia of another one of Wilford Wiggins’ get-rich-quick schemes, this one having something to do with astronomy. As usual, Encyclopedia wasn’t given an invitation to Wilford’s sales pitch because he knew Encyclopedia would prove how fraudulent he was being. And as usual, someone told Encyclopedia about it. I don’t know why Wilford doesn’t just give up.
Oh, I know why. It’s...
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The Case of the Boy Boxers
A frantic Elmer Otis called Encyclopedia’s home asking for Chief Brown because someone had stolen money from the Idaville Youth Center. Encyclopedia explained that since the youth center only kept a few dollars to make change for vending machines, it probably wouldn’t be a case for the police. Elmer insisted that Encyclopedia came down to get to the bottom of it anyway.
The youth center was...
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The Case of the Flying Submarine
Encyclopedia and Sally were riding their bikes when they heard a helicopter flying by. When they looked up, they saw a small craft crash into the woods. The two ran for the woods to see what it was. The helicopter, meanwhile, hovered for a bit and then flew away without a place to land.
That’s not even the real mystery at hand.
When the two got near the woods, they saw that Bugs and two Tigers,...
“Don’t call me Sir Galahad. Call me Sir Had-a-Gal.”
– Tyrone Taylor, whose boasting is even more sickening when you consider the fact that he’s actually 10 years old. The Case of the Barefoot Thieves
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The Case of Smelly Nellie
Smelly Nellie had a very strong sense of smell. One day, she was on the beach smelling for clams – I’m not making that up – when she came upon a lump of ambergris. Don’t feel bad if you have no idea what ambergris is; I had no idea either. It’s a substance found floating in the ocean that is regurgitated by whales. It’s pretty similar to fecal matter, but after time, it acquires a sweeter smell....
“Your money is still here if you really dropped it. You shouldn’t go around...”
– Bugs Meany, the boy who regularly files false police reports in hopes of getting Encyclopedia into trouble. The Case of the Talking House
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The Case of the Champion Skier
Chief Brown had a real mystery on his hands that stumped even Encyclopedia. There was good reason for that; he didn’t have any clues. All he knew was that an American ambassador in Latin America had been kidnapped. He would be getting more information when he flew down to help solve the crime.
Yes, that’s right. Someone had kidnapped the ambassador in some foreign country, and the U.S. State...
“When you see a ghost, you don’t look to see if she’s anyone you...”
– Otto Beck, sharing his one rule about spotting ghosts. The Case of the Lady Ghost
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The Case of the Foot Warmer
Young inventor Melvin Pugh showed up at the Brown Detective Agency with his latest creation – a foot warmer. Summer isn’t the best time to test that sort of thing, so he went to Archer’s Toy Shop, because Mr. Archer likes to blast the air conditioning.
The good news was that Melvin’s invention worked. The bad news was that it was very impractical. The person wearing the foot warmer blows into a...
“Us Tigers fight like gentlemen.”
– Duke Kelly I hope I’m not belaboring the point that this is the boy who shot Charlie in the foot. The Case of the Headless Runner
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The Case of the Flying Boy
Encyclopedia was biking around town when he saw Casper Keane standing on his roof, wearing a pair of paper wings. Casper was convinced that he was able to fly, but Encyclopedia persuaded him not to make that attempt.
Casper told him that Buck Bardell sold him the wings for $6. Buck said that in order for the wings to work, Casper would need to be hypnotized. Hypnotism would cost an additional $6....
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The Case of the Gold Rush
There was gold out West! At least that’s what Wilford Wiggins was claiming. Wilford was a 17-year-old who has, on two separate occasions in the past, attempted to defraud groups of younger kids. Despite his past, the idiot children of Idaville still listened to Wilford when he started talking about gold.
This time, he was claiming that gold had been discovered somewhere, and all he needed was $5...
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The Case of the Five Clues
Jane Foster was screwed. Her father’s store was robbed while she was put in charge of it. Mr. Foster had to get to Glenn City, so instead of closing the store five minutes early, he had his daughter close up. Jane closed the store as planned, but forgot to lock the side door. As she was in the washroom, she heard the cash register ring. The thief ran out of the store with the money that was in the...
“Chester could handle eight without even using his teeth.”
– Encyclopedia, commenting on how the obese Chester Jenkins could eat an extra layer on a seven-layer cake without even needing to chew. A fat joke against your friend, Encyclopedia? That’s a low blow.
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The Case of the Treasure Map
Winslow Brant liked to go through people’s trash to look for treasures. One day, he found a treasure map that supposedly belonged to famous 18th century pirate Henri La Farge. I don’t know if French pirates were hanging around Florida in the 18th century, nor would I understand why they would. Spanish or English pirates? Sure. French pirates near Louisiana or near French Caribbean islands, yeah,...
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The Case of the Junk Sculptor
The children of Idaville have a nickname for Harold Finnegan: Four Wheels. He got that name because he had two bikes. That’s seriously one of the lamest nicknames I have ever heard. What’s going to happen when they all get older and start owning cars?
Four Wheels came to the Brown Detective Agency with news that one of the wheels on one of his bicycles was stolen. He had taken the bike apart to do...
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The Case of the Bound Camper
Encyclopedia and a group of other boys went to State Park for some fishing and camping. The last time we heard of them going camping, Encyclopedia witnessed someone wrecking his car to collect insurance money, but no one believed him. This time, the boys tripped upon a kidnapping.
As he was about to fall asleep, Encyclopedia heard a noise outside his tent. It was Jack Evans, who was gagged with...
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The Case of the Kidnapped Pigs
Pigs belonging to Lucy Fibbs and Carl Benton – Gwendoline and Alfred, respectively – had been stolen and a Hurricanes hat was found at the scene of the crime. The Hurricanes seemed to be like the Lions – Tigers, but older.
Carl suspected that Gwendoline and Alfred were taken because they won top prizes at the obedience test of the previous year’s pet show. With the pigs out of the running the...
“They ought to call it the ‘Touch, Feel, & Take Exhibit’.”
– Sally Kimball, after someone stole something from the museum. Now’s an inappropriate time for a lame joke, Sally. The Case of the Rattlesnake’s Rattle
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The Case of the Bird Watcher
We’ve heard this story before. Encyclopedia received a phone call or letter telling him to be somewhere to meet some mystery person. He went to meet that person, who didn’t show up. When he returned to the agency, Bugs arrived with a police officer, reporting some crime and accusing the conveniently alibi-less Encyclopedia.
This time, Encyclopedia was told to meet at Mr. Dunning gas station at...
“The Bulldogs need worse pitchers like General Custer needed more Indians.”
– Sally Kimball, offering off-color commentary at a baseball game. The Case of the Girl Shortstop
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The Case of the Electric Clock
Young astronomer, Gil Tubbs, came to the Brown Detective Agency to report that his telescope had been stolen. He reported that he woke up the night before to see a boy climbing out of his window with his telescope. He got up to chase the robber, but he tripped. Gil figured out that before the robber took the telescope, he unplugged Gil’s electric clock and tied the cord across the room so that Gil...
